


Memes and Achieving Dreams

by GucciGodTae



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cartman makes Tweek cry oofie, Cat Cafe, Craig Tucker is Protective of Tweek Tweak, Eric Cartman is Soft, Falling In Love, First Dates, Getting Together, I switched Butters name to Leopold or Leo cos thats what it is, Kyle Broflivski and Tweek Tweak Are best Friends, Kyle adopts Tweek, M/M, Memes, Pastel Tweek Tweak, Rare Pairings, Swearing, Texting, Tweek Tweak Deserves Better, Tweek Tweak is Soft and Pure, Who doesnt, but really the Tuckers adopted Tweek cos the boy needs a better hom, he really likes Tweek, i make him wear pastel again fite me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 09:01:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14209725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GucciGodTae/pseuds/GucciGodTae
Summary: Cartman wasn't used to feeling guilt, it just wasn't his thing. But, making Tweek cry filled him with this unknown guilt, and he hated it. He hated the fact that whenever he saw Tweek, he melted. Kyle had caught on and decided the two needed an intervention, or a push in the right direction.





	Memes and Achieving Dreams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BottomBunnyBoy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BottomBunnyBoy/gifts).



Tweek, contrary to popular belief, liked hanging out with Kyle’s group. He thought they were funny and exciting. Sometimes exciting got to be too much, so he would take a break with Craig’s gang. But Tweek normally hung out with Kyle and them. What surprised everyone the most though, was that Tweek got along extremely well with Cartman. Of all people.

Cartmans satanic ways had subsided and died down since he was a child. Cartman had also joined football to try and beef up, and to also be able to pummel people without getting yelled at. Cartman had grown muscles from training and exercising. He was still chubby, but it wasn’t as bad as when he was a kid. Everyone had changed.

Kyle stopped wearing his hat, cut his hair, and turned into a real nerd. He had come out as gay beginning of freshman year, and Stan had hopped on that. Stan was a jock, but he wasn’t a rude jock. He was really chill and still hung out with his regular group. Stan had gotten together with Kyle halfway through 9th.  Stan declared himself bisexual and hopped on Kyle’s ass. He and Wendy had never really worked. They were way too different, so Stan ended with her for good. He and Kyle were the perfect pair.

Tweek and Craig kept up the fake relationship until freshman year. By then, no one really cared about their rampant gayness and so the two cut it off. They were still best bros. Closer than possibly anyone else in school. Years of ‘dating’ forced them to get to know each other extremely well, they didn’t mind.

Kenny had traded his iconic parka for hoodies and faded blue jeans. Kenny was beautiful. Female and males all said it. Kenny was absolutely stunning. He had brilliant blue eyes and perfectly messed up hair. He was dating Butters, who announced in 9th grade that he wanted to be called Leopold or Leo. Leo had half of his head shaved, causing three weeks of grounded which he decided was dumb and snuck out every night, and he had dyed his hair an orange. Butters wore clothes from Forever 21 that had floral prints and just aesthetic stuff. He was still sweet and pure, but he had matured more than anyone thought. Sometime in 10th, Kenny asked Leo to be his boyfriend. The two were too cute and perfect together for it to be okay.

Tweek, well Tweek had most certainly changed. He went to rehab and was gone for an entire year. Meth was a serious drug, and his parents had forced it down his throat for years. But he had come back strong, he still stuttered and twitched, he probably wouldn’t ever get rid of that, but he managed well. Sometimes his mind went self-destructive, but Tweek got better at calming himself down. He filed a lawsuit against his parents and he moved in with the Tuckers. Tweek never tried to tame his hair, opting to let his run wild. It went almost to his shoulders. Blonde and wild. Tweeks eyes were two different colors, blue and green. His right eye was blue while the left was green. It was a weird birth defect from meth and horrible parenting, Tweek didn’t mind. It was a token of strength and maturing. Tweeks style had also changed. He wore pastel clothes and skirts. He got bullied about it from time to time, but he learned to own the insults. If he owned them and used them in his armor, they couldn’t hurt him.

Kyles Gang was fun. They went on adventures and explored places. Tweek had went to more states than possible in one summer. He had met world leaders and punched some famous people. Kyles Gang was more exciting and fun, sometimes it filled him with anxiety and he often broke down into anxiety attacks in the middle of adventures, but Tweek honestly loved the crazy world he was dragged into.

Tweek was currently sitting outside with Kyles Gang. They had lunch outside at a few picnic tables. Per usual, no one in the group cared about others, so they took a few picnic tables and set them up. Tweek sat beside Leo on top of one of the tables. Kenny was sitting on the bench beside Leo and was holding his hand. Cartman was seated a few feet from Tweek on the bench. Kyle sat on Stans lap on the table. Cartman and Kyle were arguing about something Tweek didn’t personally care about. Even into 11th grade, the two hardly got along. Kyle had moved his opinion from Xbox to PlayStation and Cartman was on the side of Xbox. Tweek himself liked PlayStation better. Kyle screamed swear words at Cartman. Stan had learned no matter how much he tried, he could never calm him down. Cartman was thriving in argument, it was his element. Kyles face had turned red, and he was about to say something, when Tweek had moved forward and grabbed Kyles hand “you’re r-right, PlayStation is superior.” Kyle yelled happily and pulled Tweek into a hug “yes! Yes, I knew you were a good person, Tweek.” Tweek smiled and laughed “I j-just know what’s g-good and what’s not.”

Cartman groaned “yeah well you’re just a twitchy spaz fuck who can’t get out a sentence without stuttering, your opinion is invalid.” Tweek sat beside Kyle and looked at the table. “That was real mean, Cartman.” Leo said. Kenny nodded “apologize.” Cartman rolled his eyes “why should I?”

Tweek wiped at his eyes and sniffed “i-its fine.” His lips quivered and Cartmans stomach dropped. An unfamiliar feeling of guilt crawled through him. No, Cartman shouldn’t feel bad. Tweek took the opposite side. So why did Cartman feel such guilt and regret? Tweek with tear filled eyes never really bothered him before. But then again, Cartman never was the reason he was sad. Being the reason Tweek was sad sucked. Cartman wasn’t going to apologize, that showed weakness, and he wasn’t weak. He never apologized. He wasn’t wrong. God dammit. Tweek needed to stop crying, the guilt kept growing and growing. Cartman fidgeted in his seat. A few tears fell down Tweeks face and Cartman broke. “I’m so sorry, Tweek.” The whole table stared at Cartman with confused, but shocked, eyes. “W-what?” Tweek asked. Cartman took a deep breath “I’m sorry I said that to you. I know how much better you’ve gotten and it’s not your fault you have all these problems, it’s your parents. Please stop crying, it really hurts.”

It was silent for a minute. They were all shocked. Never in Cartmans life had he apologized, and he never sounded that sincere.

Cartman fucking hated this. Everyone was treating him like a god damn alien. Excuse him for caring about Tweek. He heard someone snicker, and he glared at Kyle. Kyle covered his mouth and laughed quietly. That demon. Cartmans eyes moved to Tweek. Fuck Tweek for making him feel this way. Tweek seemed to be in thought “y-you apologized.” Cartman stiffly nodded. “I accept y-your apology.” Cartman let out a sigh of relief “oh god, thank you dude.” Tweek nodded and started a conversation with Leo. Cartman stared at Tweek, he looked better. His eyes were still slightly red, but he definitely seemed fine, but Cartman still felt bad. The feeling was unfamiliar. Cartman wasn’t used to guilt. He didn’t have anything to feel bad about, so why was he still guilty? Cartman turned his eyes to Kyle, the bastard was staring at him with and unreadable expression. Kyle’s eyes narrowed and he nodded to Cartman. Cartman hated the expression Kyle wore, like he knew something Cartman didn’t. Cartman glared at him, trying to be threatening. Kyle was already used to that. Kyle had been through too much with Cartman to be intimidated by a glare. Later Cartman got a text from Kyle.

 **Kyle:** hey

 **Cartman:** why were u looking at me like that earlier?

 **Kyle:** like what?

 **Cartman:** like u knew somethin I didn’t

 **Kyle:** why did you apologize to Tweek?

 **Cartman:** cos I made him cry

 **Kyle:** never bothered you before.

 **Cartman:** what answer do u want? Tweek cried cos of me so I figured I should apologize

 **Kyle:** you’ve never been that sincere or apologized in your life, so what gives?

 **Cartman:** no idea. Just felt guilty

 **Kyle:** you don’t feel guilt.

 **Cartman:** I did then

 **Kyle:** hmm. Why Tweek? You’ve made so many people cry.

 **Cartman:** Tweek doesn’t deserve to cry

 **Kyle:** and everyone else does?

 **Cartman:** shut up im done talking to u

Kyle smiled at the messages. Cartman and Tweek might be cute. Tweek could definitely be the calm to Cartmans storm. Plus, it was obvious Cartman liked Tweek. Maybe not romantically, yet, but it could get there with time.

 **Kyle:** heya

 **Tweek:** oh hey!!!

 **Kyle:** so, Cartman earlier.

 **Tweek:** yeah!!! I was surprised. He actually apologized

 **Kyle:** yeah weird

 **Kyle:** I texted him and he said you didn’t deserve to cry

 **Tweek:** what

 **Kyle:** *screenshot*

 **Kyle:** weird

 **Tweek:** has he become nice????

 **Kyle:** only for you I guess.

 **Tweek:** what

 **Kyle:** anyways, I have to study and do homework and then Stans coming over so bye bye!!

 **Tweek:** you get your dumbass back here

 **Tweek:** kyle bros before hoes

 **Tweek:** kyle u whore

 **Tweek:** cant believe this is where our friendship is goin smh

 **Tweek:** Cartman just asked me out

 **Kyle:** he what

 **Tweek:** glad I got your attention

 **Kyle:** fuck you Tweek

 **Tweek:** maybe another time

 **Kyle:** this is why I ignore you

 **Tweek:** lolol explain what you think about Cartmans recent softness

 **Kyle:** boy proly likes you

 **Tweek:** imma keep it real wit u chief, he doesn’t

 **Kyle:** im gonna lay down my cancel card and cancel that statement you said because Cartman definitely feels something for you

 **Tweek:** imma play my blue eyes white dragon and tell you he doesn’t

 **Kyle:** I use my Hermione Pokémon card and use stupefy cos your dumbass needs help realizing that Cartman feels something for you

 **Tweek:** get off the crack Kyle its changing you

 **Kyle:** bitch wtf im not on crack

 **Tweek:** you a crackhead skrskr dude

 **Kyle:** youre just running from the truth

 **Tweek** : Pikachu use thundershock and shock this bitch to make him see the light

 **Kyle:** I play my reverse card

 **Tweek:** you got me there

 **Kyle:** I hate you so much why don’t you listen to me

 **Tweek:** I cant hear you over the sound of my homosexuality

 **Kyle:** that doesn’t make sense

 **Tweek:** you don’t make sense

 **Kyle:** this conversation is going nowhere bye

 **Tweek:** :p byeee

Tweek laughed at the messages. Kyle was super fun to talk to and meme with. What Kyle said still bothered him. Sure, Cartman didn’t apologize, but people could change. Kyle was just being dumb and overanalyzing again. Though, Tweek didn’t mind the feeling he got when he thought that maybe Cartman might like him. Tweek didn’t want to start any rift between the group, so he didn’t act on anything or say anything.

\------------------

Progress within weeks happened. Cartman had become softer with Tweek, often seen hugging Tweek or smiling at him. It was almost impossible to be mean at Tweek, so people just blamed the sudden niceness on that. No one ever wanted to make Tweek sad, he had been through enough.

 

 

Cartman ran up to Tweek when he noticed him. “Hey.” Tweek smiled at him “h-hey.” The two walked to their class and waited for lunch. Tweek laid on his desks and wanted for the bell to ring for lunch. It was the only period he looked forward to. He dozed off and woke up when someone shook him “Jesus, Tweek, you sleep like a log.” Tweek whined and pushed the hand off of him. “If you don’t get the fuck up, I’m going to pick you and take you to lunch.” Tweek sighed “you f-fuckin won’t, coward.” The person talking to Tweek picked him up and held him. Tweek groaned, but relaxed against the person. He wasn’t worried at all. The voice was familiar, even half asleep.

Tweek felt fresh air and opened his eyes. Guess it was lunch. “What the fuck are you doing?” Stan asked. The person holding Tweek shrugged “the asshole would wake up, so I picked him up.” Tweek finally opened his eyes and looked at the person holding him. Letterman jacket, brown hair, and obviously strong. This was Cartman. Tweek wanted to die. Cartman dumped Tweek on top of the table “here you are, your highness.” Tweek curled up on the table “fetch me f-food you peasant.” Cartman flipped him off, but went and grabbed food anyways.

Kyle smirked at Tweek “so.” Tweek shrugged “I passed o-out on my desk and h-he picked me up, fight me j-jackass.” Kyle raised his hands in surrender. Cartman came back with extra food on his tray. He threw Tweek a sandwich and a bag of chips. Tweek eagerly grabbed the food and munched on it. “No drink for the pure baby?” Kyle asked. Cartman glared and shoved his drink at Tweek. “Y-you don’t have to.” Cartman still held it out “fucking take it.” Tweek grabbed the drink and took a sip “thanks.” “Whatever.” The group talked about simple and dumb stuff. Kyle noticed the glances Cartman shot in Tweeks direction. He threw up an eyebrow and decided to test the waters “so, Tweek” Tweek hummed “I heard someone talking about you.” That got both Tweek and Cartmans attention. “S-someone talkin shit?” Kyle shook his head “nah. Someone talkin good stuff. About how cute you were and stuff like that.” Tweek flushed and picked at his food. “R-really?” Kyle nodded and checked Cartmans status. He had paused eating and looked constipated. Kyle smiled, it was official. No matter what the fatass said, he liked Tweek. Tweek picked at his food “w-who was it?” He asked. Cartman answered before Kyle could “probably some jock.”

“Why?”

“Cos only jocks care about looks. Kahl never said they mentioned your personality, and that’s what fucking matters, your personality. Your personality is more important than your god damn looks.”

“O-oh.”

“Yeah. So whoever said that isn’t fucking good for you.”

“Y-you’re right.”

“Damn right.”

Kyle sipped his water and stared at the twos exchange. Cartman seemed a little jealous and upset. Kyle took another sip of water. “What are you planning, babe?” Stan whispered in Kyle’s ear. Kyle smirked “you’ll see.” Stan shook his head. He knew his boyfriend well enough to know that Kyle was on a mission and wouldn’t stop until it was complete. Kyle cuddled into Stan’s side “they had mentioned how much of a sweetheart Tweek was. That’s personality.”

“Anybody can be a god damn sweetheart. Did they fucking say how intense Tweek is? Cos Tweeks intense and fierce and passionate.”

“Hmm. They didn’t, but you seem to know a lot about Tweek.”

“Course I do, we’re close. Right, Tweek?”

Tweek nodded and sipped his drink. “He’s my favorite.” Cartman said. Kyle gripped Stans hand and closed his eyes “this is the best day of my life.” Stan snorted and kissed the back of Kyle’s neck.

Tweek sat and listened to the people around him talking. It was kind of adorable how protective Cartman got. Tweek got on his phone and scrolled through his apps. Tweeks favorite memes were the FBI ones that shit was mad funny. Tweek giggled at his phone. Cartman tapped his leg “what’s so funny?” Tweek moved from his spot on top of the table to sit beside Cartman. He showed Cartman the screen “FBI memes?” Tweek flushed from embarrassment but nodded. Cartman smiled at the meme “I like it.” Tweeks eyes brightened “t-these are my fucking f-favorite.” Cartman subtly moved closer to Tweek “show me more.” Tweek quickly went to the folder in his phone for the memes. The two looked at the pictures together for the rest of lunch, laughing to themselves.

Kyle watched them like a proud mother. “Look, Stan” he whispered “our son is growing.” Stan looked confused “when the fuck did you have a kid?” Kyle waved away his concern “Tweek, obviously.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“Maybe you should listen to me more.”

“What?”

“Keep up with the program, honey. Tweek is our son, and he and Cartman are my next quest.”

“What?”

“Look, they obviously like each other.”

“I don’t see it.”

“Look harder.”

“Still don’t see it.”

“Stan, you dumb bitch. Watch them.”

“Would rather not.”

 “You wanna test me?”

“All of a sudden I’m analyzing their relationship.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Kyle turned his head and smiled at Stan and kissed him “thank you for agreeing with me.” Stan hummed and kissed Kyle again. Kyle turned around in Stans lap and wrapped his legs around Stan’s waist. He grabbed Stan’s collar and that concluded the rest of their lunch.

 

Kenny and Leo had engaged Cartman and Tweek in an intense discussion about what the best holiday was and why. Cartman said his birthday. Tweek and Leo loved Halloween, and Kenny loved Christmas. Kenny wrapped his arm around Leos shoulder and pulled him closer “Leo, agree with me. Christmas is best.” Leo shook his head “Halloween is best, love.” Tweek cheered “t-the costumes and candy.” Leopold nodded “and the weather is nice! And the leaves are pretty.” Tweek gushed with Leo about it.

Cartman smiled softly at the happy look on Tweeks face. The sun made his blonde hair brighter and his eyes lighter. Cartman sighed and relaxed while looking at Tweek. Dumb blonde making him feel this way. But, Cartman found himself wanting Tweeks attention more and more. He looked away from Tweek to see Kenny smirking at him “full whipped.” Cartman glared at him “say that again you poor fuck.” Kenny leaned closer “full whipped you fatass.” Cartman sighed “I’m not indulging you with this.” Kenny looked triumphant and leaned back. Leo snuggled into Kenny and continued his conversation with Tweek. Cartman glanced at Leo and Kenny’s intimate position. He wondered if he could ever do that with someone. The bell rang and the four boys got up. Tweek threw his empty drink at Kyle. Kyle and Stan broke apart with an obscene sound. Kyle looked at Tweek with glazed eyes and puffy red lips “what?” He snapped. Tweek sighed “bell rang you h-horny bastard.” Kyle nodded “give us like, thirty minutes?” Tweek looked at him, unimpressed ”j-just skip for the day.” Kyle flushed “who’s gonna take you home?” Tweek shrugged “I’ll f-find a ride.” Kyle seemed to be okay with that and shooed Tweek away.

 

The day ended quicker than Tweek thought. He kind of lied when he told Kyle he would find a ride. He couldn’t find a ride, and didn’t want to ask anyone. Tweek sighed and grabbed his book bag. Tweek walked outside and made his way home. “Ay, Tweek.” Tweek turned around and saw Cartman walking his way. He waved “h-hey.”

“Where’s Kyle? Doesn’t he drive you home?”

“U-usually, but he left with S-Stan and I told him I would f-find a ride.”

“But you don’t have a ride?”

“… Don’t p-patronize me.”

“I’m not dumbass. I’ll give you a ride home.”

“Y-you sure? You don’t h-have to.”

“I will, come on.”

Cartman grabbed Tweeks hand and led Tweek to his car. Tweek sat down in the passenger’s seat. Cartman surprisingly liked indie music. He listened to things like Mxmtoon, Cavetown, and Billie Elish. He made Tweek promise not to tell anyone. Tweek laughed and promised. The two bonded over their mutual love of indie and obscured music. Cartman stopped in front of the Tuckers house “here. Is no one home?” Tweek shook his head and opened the door “n-not right now. Craig usually hangs o-out with his gang for a while, Trica is still in s-school, and his parents are at w-work.” Cartman seemed to be in thought “wanna, like, hang out?” Tweek shrugged “s-sure. Come in, we h-have video games.” Cartman smiled and the two walked up to the house. Tweek made them hot chocolate, which was the alternative to coffee, and some snacks. Tweek had told Cartman where his room was and to set up any game he wanted. Tweek brought the food and drinks upstairs to his room and sat down. The two smiled at each other and got to playing the game.

After an hour or so, Craig came home. He threw open Tweeks door “what the fuck?” Tweek and Cartman turned to Craig “h-hey, Craig.” Craig nodded “hey, honey.” Tweek sighed, and laughed “you c-can stop calling me t-that.”

“Never. Why is he here?”

“Cartman?”

“No, the imaginary person next to you. Yes, Cartman.”

“Oh, well K-Kyle left early and s-so Cartman drove me home. I i-invited him in to play video games.”

“Such a sweetie. I’m watching you dickhead.”

Cartman looked offended “I haven’t done anything.” Craig narrowed his eyes “yet.” Tweek laughed and told Craig to leave. Cartman pouted and Tweek reassured him that Craig was just protective. The two hung out for a few more hours, but then Cartman had to leave.

As Cartman was putting his shoes on, Craig stopped him. “Don’t hurt him.”

“I don’t think I could.”

“If you do hurt him, I won’t hesitate to break you. Tweek and I may not be dating anymore, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still love and appreciate him. He’s the beauty this world has lost.”

“Sounds like you’re in love with him.”

“No, I’m just worried about him. I’m protecting him. Watch yourself, Eric.”

“Low blow, Tucker.”

“I don’t care. Protect Tweek, do not lead him on. If you love him, love him correctly.”

“Okay.”

Craig nodded and walked away. Cartman normally didn’t feel intimated, but Craig was a scary guy. Besides, Cartman didn’t want to hurt Tweek. He wanted to hold Tweek and protect him from all the bad the world has. He wanted to kiss Tweeks cheeks and praise him for being such a good person. Oh shit. Cartman walked to his car and drove away. He didn’t realize how deep his affections for Tweek went. Cartman wanted to die. Who could he talk to about this? Kyle, maybe.

 **C:** dude help

 **K:** oh hello. I knew this day would come.

 **C:** yeah shut up I love Tweek

 **K:** OH SHIT

 **K:** FUCKFUCK OKAY ITS HAPPENING

 **K:** EVERYBODY STAY CALM

 **C:** U TYPING IN CAPS IS GIVING ME ANXIETY YOU JEW

 **K:** okay woooo okay I’m fine now. I’ve just been waiting for this day.

 **C:** 1) fuck you

 **K:** ah that Tweeks job

 **C:** nvm im gonna text Kenny and have him help

 **K:** skrskr I’m sorry come back ill help your fatass.

 **C:** see I just feel attacked

 **K:** I spent my entire childhood being attacked by you

 **K:** so suck it

 **C:** Stans job

 **C:** anywhere what should I do?

 **K:** I’m glad you asked

 **C:** I just felt instant regret

 **K:** going to ignore that in favor of telling you how to get a boyfriend you fucking dumbass

 **C:** wow okay

 **K:** take that beautiful baby on a lovely date (he doesn’t know it’s a date yet duh) and confess at the end of it in case he needs time to think #nopreassure

 **C:** gdi

 **K:** good day to you too.

 **C:** it means go die

 **K:** suddenly I’m blind. Anyways, make it a cute date and not to emotional or anxiety inducing.

 **K:** so that cat café downtown

 **C:** I will most definitely not go there

 **K:** wow did I tell you Tweek loves cats? And he also loves coffee. I’ve taken a multitude of pictures of him with cats, cute shit.

 **C:** pics or it didn’t happen

 **K:** you just want pictures

 **C:** callin me out

 **K:** *sent and image*

 **C:** all of a sudden I love cat cafes

 **K:** that’s what I thought. Oof gotta go, Stans taking me on a date. Bye!

 **C:** fuckin gay

Cartman sighed and looked at the picture of Tweek holding a cat. God help him, he couldn’t do this. Cartman wasn’t used to being nervous or feeling light and soft in any way, but here he was, gushing over Tweek by himself.

 **C:** heyo

 **T:** hey!!

Cartman smiled at the exclamation points. Tweek was so happy, even in text.

 **C:** u wanna do something this weekend??

 **T:** with the group????

 **C:** no just us

 **T:** oh! Sure yeah!!

 **C:** cool.

 **T:** what do you wanna do???

 **C:** cat café?

 **T:** hell yeah!!! I love kittens!!!

 **C:** they are pretty cute

The two texted for a while about cats and sent pictures of cats they found online. As dumb as it was, Cartman cherished the entire exchange. He hoped Tweek did too.

Tweek more than enjoyed the exchange. He had honestly been waiting to hang out with Cartman one on one. That way, he could pretend it was a date. Tweek flushed and thought about Cartman. A knock on his door brought Tweek out of his dream like state. “Come in.” He yelled. Craig walked in and flopped on Tweeks bed “so, you and Cartman?”

“Shut up, we a-aren’t even dating.”

“Yet.”

“Die.”

“You wish. Anyways, make sure to tell me if he hurts you or makes you feel bad. The dude can be a sociopath.”

“I know, C-Craig. He’s changed a lot though.”

“I sure fucking hope. Can we still cuddle?”

“D-do you even have to ask? F-fucking obviously we can still cuddle.”

Craig cheered and wrapped his arms around Tweeks waist and spooned him “I hope you two work out.” Tweek buried his face in Craigs neck “me too.”

Cartman and Tweek had texted and planned to go to the café on Saturday around 3 Cartman would pick Tweek up. Tweek spent a while in front of the closet. Eventually both Trica and Craig got annoyed from the sighs and whines and noises coming from Tweeks room.

Trica kicked open the door “where are you going on this date?” Tweek screamed and held his hand over his heart “j-jesus mother fucking Christ on a d-damn cracker.” Craig appeared behind Tweek “I say a skirt with leggings and one of your sweaters.” Tweek stared at the two “I say you l-learn how to fucking knock. G-good lord.” The siblings ignored him in favor of rooting through his closet. Craig threw a pair of leggings at Tweek “put those on.” Tweek put on the soft blue leggings. “Since those are leggings he doesn’t need a skirt. Right?” Craig asked. Trica hummed “he should be fine. Just get a long sweater.” Craig nodded and the siblings went through Tweeks collection.

Trica stopped “wait, I need to get your hair and face ready. Craig keep looking.” Tweek tried to protest, but Trica ran to her room and rummaged through all her makeup and hair items. She set Tweek on his bed and plugged her curling iron into the wall “let’s get started.”

Craig put a white sweater next to Tweek. Trica had Craig curl Tweeks hair until she was done with his makeup. She finished the wings on his eyeliner. “Tweek, you’re so pretty.” Tweek flushed “t-thanks.”

She put some lip gloss on him and then motioned for Craig to get the sweater. Tweek stood up and pulled the sweater over his head. It went down to right under his butt “a thick boy” Trica yelled. Craig nodded “thick Tweek.” Tweek sighed “are w-we done?” Trica shook her head “hell no. I need to finish your hair. Craig, go to my room and look for cat ear headbands.” Craig nodded “fuckin furry.” Trica flipped him off and went back to curling Tweeks hair “your hair is so untamed this shit is gonna take forever.” Tweek sighed, it was already 1:30, and he didn’t really have a lot of time.

Trica got finished an hour later, thirty minutes to spare. Craig had come in with a white cat ear headband. They had Tweek spin around and show off the outfit. Trica had praised her handiwork and makeup skills. Craig focused on hyping Tweek up.

Ten minutes to three the doorbell rang. The trio walked downstairs “wait, stop” Trica said. The boys looked at her “this needs to be dramatic. Cartman needs to be swept off his feet. Craig, open the door. Tweek, you walk down these stairs as dramatically as you can. I’ll record it all.” The boys shared a look and got to their respective places. Craig opened the door “sup, Cartman?” Cartman looked past Craig “is Tweek here?” Craig nodded and yelled for Tweek. Tweek walked down the stairs, face flushed, and moving a tad slower than normal. Craig rolled his eyes at Tweek and turned to Cartman. Cartmans face was slightly red, and his mouth was parted. Maybe Cartman was good for Tweek. Maybe Cartman could appreciate Tweek and treat him right. Craig would still fight him if he did anything, but Cartman seemed to be okay for now. Tweek fast walked to the door “we need to leave” he mumbled. Craig tried to say goodbye, but Tweek grabbed Cartmans hand and dragged him away from the house. Tweek mumbled angrily under his breath. Cartman opened the car door for Tweek and let him sit down and cool off. “So, what’s wrong?”

“F-fuckin Trica and Craig dressed me up l-like a god damn doll.”

“You look really good, though.”

“O-oh. Okay.”

“Yeah, I’m not fucking lying. You look god damn amazing.”

“T-thank you.”

Cartman nodded “anytime, Tweek.”

The two arrived at the café and Tweek immediate went to a black and white cat. Cartman smiled and sat beside him “cats are my fucking favorite.” Tweek hummed in agreement and played with the kitten. Cartman grabbed his phone and took a few pictures of Tweek, and a few of the cats and the place itself. He waited for Tweek to want to get something to drink and eat. Until then, he gazed happily at the beautiful blonde and the many cats surrounding him.

Tweek finally stood up “can we get a drink now?” Cartman nodded and decided to have courage and grab Tweeks hand. Tweek smiled up at him. He reached into his bag and pulled out his wallet. Cartman stopped him “I’ll pay.” Tweek frowned “but.”

“Nope, I am paying.”

Tweek pouted and put the wallet away. The two ordered and when they got their drinks, they made their way to the tables by a window. Tweek talked about the horrible process he was forced to go through to get ready. Whining every so often when he remembered the state of his room.

Cartman sipped his coffee and listened to Tweeks rambles. It was really adorable. Tweek got so worked up about having to sit in the same position for over an hour just to get the hair done. Cartman commented whenever he could, but was more than happy to let Tweek let out his feelings. Cartman reached out and grabbed Tweeks hand over the table. Tweek paused his rant to smile at Cartman and link their fingers together. A cat came up and sat beside Tweek and another beside Cartman. The two spent a few hours at the café, talking and flirting.

At the end, Cartman drove the two of them back to Craigs. Cartman turned off the car “I loved today, thank you.”

“I d-did too! Sorry for complaining e-earlier.”

“Its fine, you’re really cute when you rant.”

“S-shut up.”

“Never. Um, this was a date.”

“It was?”

“Hell yeah. I want to date you.”

Tweek smiled as happily and brightly as he could. He leaned over and pressed a kiss on Cartmans cheek “I want to d-date you too.” Cartman hugged Tweek “thank god.” Tweek held Cartman for a minute. They let go and Tweek said “s-see you at school.” Cartman nodded “hopefully sooner.”

A soon as Tweek came inside, he was pulled upstairs and interrogated. Tweek gushed and recounted every second for the two.

**Author's Note:**

> for my most loyal and amazing follower, BottomBunnyBoy i hope this lives up to your expectations 
> 
> also, you can pry meme bros Tweek and Kyle from my cold dead hands. also you can pry soft cartman too. we all know in love he would be really nice and soft and people change as they grow older my boy isnt satanic through his life. he a good boy sometimes and you can fight me about i love my son. 
> 
> tbh im not that proud of this i might delete it and rewrite it later
> 
> follow me on instagram @ Coffee_flavored_kisses_  
> my tweek south park rp on insta @ tweek_tweek_coffee_boi  
> twitter @ GothBabyBoy


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